Fan mail

I got my first fan e-mail!!!

This is one of the reasons why I write, to entertain and to impress. And it seems that I have done that exact thing for one person. And so now, I must speed up writing my second book if not for any other reason than for this one person.



Today, I want to talk about the feeling of inadequacy. Not the physical kind, that is something most of us can recover (unless you have body dis-morphia or something)  from either accepting it, ignoring it or correcting it. What I instead want to talk about is the one that concerns our efforts and our work. This is a lot harder to overcome.

Nothing that you do will ever feel satisfying. You may discover the cure for cancer, or write the best story of all time but that just won’t be enough. Some people are just wired like this, to always feel that what they have done is not enough and they need to do more a lot more.

It is the mechanism that caused humanity to reach where it has, to always want to push yourself, certainly seems very advantageous. However, it is genuinely very depressing. You cannot enjoy any of your successes in life and people that congratulate you seem to be mocking you. Every-time someone appreciates you, you will not believe it.

There is really no way out of this trap-hole, all you can do is learn to live with it and enjoy life otherwise. Reward yourself after achieving (and not becoming complacent doing that), that is all you can do.

The white blank page

“Life is a white blank page for everyone” Astral said as stood over kneeling miserable man “Whether you make art out of it or stain it with blood is up to you”

“Why do you say that every-time?” Marco, the man who was kneeling asked.

“To make those kneeling over realize their mistakes” Astral replied “and it is time you did too”

“Why does it matter if we feel remorse? Our head is about to roll in a few seconds, what will remorse do for us?”

“It is so that your soul can join The god in the heavens sooner than later” Astral announced aloud for all of the crowd gathered to hear.

“What god in what heavens? If there had been a god, we won’t have such massacres! Innocent children crying over their dead mother, villages destroyed, happiness robbed, There is a pillar of bodies out there!”

“Those are bodies of heathens, heathens that occupy our holy land” Astral said condescendingly “they deserve what they get”

“They breathe like us, they eat like us, they sleep like us, they fear like us, they celebrate like us, they are us!”

“Yet they believe in their false god. It is our holy duty to exterminate such vermin”

“I will rather be executed than to fulfill that holy duty” Marco said “Do not extend my agony”

Astral called for the executioner who approached the knelt man slowly.

“You were once my brother” Astral said in a disappointing tone.

“I would rather rot in hell than be called your brother” Marco said as fear flushed over into his eyes. The execution now stood next to Marco “I hope the real god sends all of you to the deepest pits of hell!”

THUD! The axe hit the wood and the crowd gasped.

The great review

I have been absent from the internet in general for the past few months because of school (I have now officially graduated!) and one of the first things that see when I return, is this review of my book on Amazon!  I couldn’t be happier!

Thank you starlight reviews for such a stellar review!18622397_10213014610903400_527289641018736590_n18664664_10213014610823398_712422136113196092_n

the right to sadness

Happiness is a great feeling no doubt, I do not contest. Everybody wants to be happy and satisfied. But you see, life isn’t like that, it beats you down in a unique way for everyone. And hence sadness comes into play.

If it did not have any evolutionary advantage, it wouldn’t have stayed in place, so many years after the first animals feelings emerged.  Sometimes it is a legit way to decrease any amount distress an individual might be facing and it might be able to help people move on from various situations.

And so when someone is sad or distressed from a  relatively trivial things, they are genuinely distressed. They may not have lost someone or something dear to them but we must realize that stress is affected by the perception of an individual, it is relative from person to person. What may seem distressing to you may not seem so to another person and vice versa.

So, when they ask you to fake happiness for the sake of others because your reason for being sad does not seem as prominent to them, be selfish sometimes (not all the times) and ignore them. You deserve to have a healthy roller coaster ride of emotions even if people may not want you to.

dodging a bullet

Oh my god, I thought it was just a myth but it happened to me! The manuscript for my second book has been corrupted due to file type errors. The effort that I put in the whole of last year all gone….

or it would have, had I not gotten a random tip off a couple of weeks ago to back it up in my email. I still lost a couple of chapters and a few thousand words but that is better than losing all of it. I feel as if I have dodged a bullet.

I couldn’t have put this project in the ground thinking that I will write something else because this was the second book in my series, so I would have had to write it again no matter how bad it felt.

So all the authors out there, if you haven’t backed up your manuscript in a while then back it up right now.


No, I did not flunk school or anything, I am just intrigued by the concept of failure.

It is the fundamental truth that for every victor, there is a loser. So why then are we so surprised when we lose? It is goo to have a fear of failure as it pushes you to your limits in order to succeed but then why is it so hard to accept that you just weren’t good enough. That when you were slacking off, your contemporaries were working hard, when you were hesitant, your contemporaries seized their opportunity.

I do not see failure as the end of this world scenario, while I certainly will try better than my best to not fail but it is truly not the end of my career. I will pick myself up back once more, see where I lacked and run once more.

I think that one attitude is what makes all the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people. To be able to take on near impossible challenges, failing, learning from the failure, making it less difficult than before and taking it on again, is the only path to success.

Now there are even those individuals that do not try in the first place in order to avoid failure, to those I say that there is no bigger failure than not having tried and no regret worse than what could have been.

In conclusion, I would like to say an old quote from god knows where ‘Seven times down, eight times up’.