why I hate being an author

There are times when I stare into my screen thinking that I am the only one who has to suffer the same way. It is so lonely to be an author, I have to walk this path alone.

Sometimes, I want a mentor. Sometimes, I want a rival, an equal. Sometimes I want a pupil. I never had the luxury of that.

So I struggle alone. I am destined to struggle alone.

Do you know how many empty ‘congratulations’ I have heard in the past year? So many that it is nothing short of sickening.  They do not know my struggles until this point, they do not know the struggles I have yet to face. Most of them have never really supported me and then they congratulate me…

Do you know how many people that still doubt me? People who I called friends and those who I once trusted. I had to stop corresponding with them and leave them behind further dwindling the small number of friends that I do have.

I know that everyone in this world is to some extent alone but being a creative individual puts you further away from everyone else.

Which is why to everyone who wants to be an author or a painter or a musician or poet or anything along those lines, I say that they shouldn’t become one unless they are absolutely sure that they can live with the crippling loneliness that accompanies it.

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